DOTLAN EveMaps

Are you tired of caring for your elderly relatives OR are you interested in the fine art of exotic dance? Do you wish you could send your great grandparents away to die and shake your body parts while spinning on a pole without society judging you? Well look no further, The New Eden Elderly Home and School for Exotic Dance is the perfect choice!

For the elderly, we have a variety of engaging activities such as: Shuffle board, bingo, "Classic Movie Night" and of course all the young strippers you could ever throw an interstellar kredit at!

For our aspiring dancers: Learn as you get paid! The elderly at the resort will act as your wealthy customers. You could be the absolute worst dancer in the unverse, THEY WON'T CARE! No need to worry about safety either, as the clientelle are overtly decrepit. Our well paid and experienced instructors will set you on the path of exotic greatness! Dance at night, tend to the dying during the day, and watch your wallet grow. What could be more fulfilling in life? That's a trick question- there is no answer!

For the concerned seniors- never fear! The establishment is complete with soft foods, soft beds, and even softer tooshies. We even have male dancers and instructors in case you prefer a more muscular approach! Exotic fun aside, we guarantee complete safetey for you, and our full attention from our scantily clad and well trained* orderlies.

Whether you're interested in sending your old, frail, living ancestors away so you can finally enjoy your daily lives or you wish to master the ability of "shakin' what your mama gave ya" - contact Skanki Spaceface, Proprietor and Principal of the establishment for more information.

*The staff of The New Eden Eldery Home and School for Exotic Dance are not trained in any practical medicinal applications or in the care of the elderly in any form. Due to the erotic dress code and appearance of our staff, accidental death from cardio pulminary incidents can and do occur frequently. A liability waver and contract of admittance must be properly completed before we can accept your family members. We utilize an outsourced security team to enforce the containment of your loved ones so never fear - the only escape left for your family member is the cold, silent embrace of death.